Jeanne Owens, author

Blog about author Jeanne Owens and her writing


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7 Signs You’ve Gone Too Far With Your Advertising

Hahaha! These are hilarious! Thankfully I’m not that far gone yet, and I haven’t turned into Jay Sherman…yet.

Legends of Windemere

A big chunk of an indie author’s life is promoting their books.  Whether it’s available or about to come out, you need to spread the word.  Yet, sometimes an author might go too far and things begin to unravel.  At least mentally.

  1. Your dreams appear in Twitter form and you are being chased by hashtags.  Trending topics fly through the background, most of them either politics or celebrity gossip.  The plus side is that you no longer have that nightmare about winning a badminton tournament and realize you’re naked.
  2. You proudly declare that you made 14 tweets, 3 Facebook promos, 1 blog post, 4 Google+ promos, 2 author interviews, and 10 guest posts before lunch.  Thankfully this declaration was on-line.  That way nobody knows you failed to shower, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, get dressed, let the dog out, pack a lunch for the kids, get them to the bus…

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Getting Out Alive – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds

 

“Do not take live too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.” -Elbert Hubbard

 

(quote image found on Pinterest)

 

This post is part of One-liner Wednesday:

One-Liner Wednesday – Sad Lemon is Sad

1linerwedsbadgewes


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Vacant – Tuesday Use It In A Sentence #tuesdayuseitinasentence

Valerie stared at the vacant lot they were considering buying. A vacant expression crossed her face as she imagined all the children who once played there in the past, enjoying games of stickball, kickball, and kick the can, and imagining all the children who will one day enjoy playing there once they turned the lot into a neighborhood playground.

 

 

This post is part of the Tuesday Use It In A Sentence prompt:

https://awordadventure.wordpress.com/2016/03/29/tuesdayuseitinasentence-vacant/


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Hearts like dogs – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds #NationalPuppyDay

 

 

 

“What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs.” – unknown

 

Happy National Puppy Day!

Be sure to give your pups lots of love and attention, and please remember…Adopt, don’t shop!

(quote image found on Pinterest)

 

This post is part of One-liner Wednesday:

One-Liner Wednesday – It’s Al’s Fault

1linerwedsbadgewes


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Uniform – Tuesday Use It In A Sentence #tuesdayuseitinasentence

Allie  couldn’t understand why her teenage daughter, Amber, was so set on going to Richland Academy. They had such a strict uniform dress code and Amber had always been a stickler about fashion. But then she happened to catch her daughter watching the boys going into school one morning when she dropped her off at a school. “Oh, now I see,” Allie thought as Amber entered the school grounds with a group of her friends. “What’s that saying, again? Women love a man in uniform.”

 

 

This post is part of the Tuesday Use It In A Sentence prompt:

https://awordadventure.wordpress.com/2016/03/22/tuesdayuseitinasentence-uniform/

 


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Church Bulletin Bloopers

HAHAHAHA!!! These are great!

Nutsrok

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

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1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

3. The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.”
The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall – Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

5. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

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Oh, No! It’s Sunday Again

I hate that feeling

Marion's Superkitty Tales and Children's Books

It was a beautiful spring day. The family had decided that it would be nice to go for a picnic after church. Mom fried some chicken, made potato salad, and added other things she thought her family would like. She even made a pie for dessert. Everyone piled in the car to go to church. After that, they went to the local park to have their picnic.

Mom and Dad spent the afternoon just relaxing and visiting while the kids played on the equipment, ran races, visited with friends they found there, and just kept active until they were too tired to do anything else. All in all, they spent about three hours at the park. By then, everyone was ready to go home. Both Mom and Dad had things to do to get ready for work tomorrow and the kids had homework to finish for school.

When the family…

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Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

May everyone have a great St. Patrick’s Day!

 

And as it’s also the Feast of St. Gertrude, patron saint of cats, here’s a couple of kitty-themed Irish drinking songs to enjoy 😀

 

(images found on Pinterest)