Jeanne Owens, author

Blog about author Jeanne Owens and her writing

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7 Reasons Not to Anger an Illusion Caster

Legends of Windemere

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You might laugh at the gnome making funny illusions in the bar.  Right now, he’s trying to win the heart of a lovely woman.  That’s the mood you want him to stay in.  There are many reasons not to anger a master of manipulating reality.  Sure, you might be able to see through the spells, but can you do it before you’re defeated?

  1. Illusionists may affect the senses, but that can trigger other reactions.  Allergies are one option if you’re going for pranks.  Another is using illusions to physically push a target to the point of collapse.  If you can’t summon ghosts then make some of your own. A dragon might be tough, but you can always have only the head come bursting through the wall.  This is extra deadly if you have a heart condition.
  2. You will never live down the picture of you making out…

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Preparing a Fantasy Thanksgiving Dinner

Legends of Windemere

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Celebrating Thanksgiving in a fantasy world?  Follow these steps for the perfect meal that promises to be delicious, affordable, and minimal on casualties.

  1. Stock up on healing potions.  These can help with the prep work, family fights, bandit raids, food poisoning, and zombie turkeys.
  2. Hunt down your own turkey to save money for the other dishes.  They’re fairly plentiful in certain regions, so some traveling might be needed.  It is not recommended to use magic or anything else that obliterates the animal.
  3. Apologize to the griffin you mistook for a turkey and run.
  4. Find wild yams for mashing.  Earn extra money by doing this in public and claiming to be a stand-up comedian.  Due to copyright issues, always refuse to add a watermelon to your act.
  5. Buy green beans to steam.  What could go wrong?
  6. Finish wrapping scalded hand.
  7. Make bacon and eat most of it.  Give last…

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