Jeanne Owens, author

Blog about author Jeanne Owens and her writing

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Do You Have Author Potential? Take The Author Test Today! #ASMSG #SundayBlogShare @SteveBoseley

12 points! I’ve almost arrived 😀

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When horror and dark fiction author Steve Boseley contacted me to say that he shared my blonde humour, wanted to have some literary fun and had a cracking guest blog post up his sleeve, I had to have a sugary cup of tea and a lie down. It’s not everyday a young (ish), blonde,fluffy, cute (using certain filters and a good photo editing app),chicklit writer, like myself, gets an offer like this… especially not from a dashing horror author like Steve. *Sigh*

Steve’s guest post made me chuckle – so here it is.

Do You Have Author Potential? Take The Author Test!

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Such A Ham – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS

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Lyle and Marina stood at Scott’s door. Lyle adjusted the package in his hand and rang the doorbell.

“Do you have any idea what he’s planning to serve for dinner?” Marina asked as they waited for the door to open.

“No,” Lyle replied. “He didn’t say. I hope the side dishes we brought are ok.”

“And the bottle of wine,” she said, holding up the brown bag in her hand. “It’s hard to pick out an appropriate wine to go with a meal if you don’t what is being served.”

The door opened and their friend Scott greeted them with a “You rang?” like Lurch from The Addams Family. When they didn’t laugh, he just shrugged and gave them a big smile instead. “Thanks for coming, guys. You’re just in time. Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes.”

“Great! Thanks for inviting us. We brought some side dishes and some wine. I hope they’ll be ok.”

“Thanks. I’m sure they’ll go just fine.”

“So, what are we having?” Marina asked.

“It’s a secret,” Scott said with a wink and a grin.

“Smells like a ham,” Lyle said.

Scott frowned. “Oh, shoot. You guessed it.”

“I wasn’t referring to dinner.”

Scott stuck out his tongue. “Well, anyway, don’t just stand there,” he said, and grinned again and stepped aside and, with a flourishing sweep of his arm and a short bow, said, “Won’t you come in?” in a mock butler’s voice.

Lyle rolled his eyes and entered the house with Marina one step behind. Scott shut the door behind them. “Walk this way,” Scott said in imitation of Lurch,  and he led them into the dining room.

While Lyle and Marina arranged the side dishes and wine on the table and seated themselves, Scott went into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned and, with as much pomp and circumstance as he could muster, he set a beautiful, large glazed ham on the table.

“This ham,” Scott said with a wide grin as he held the carving knife and fork at the ready, “is the best ham. There has never been such a ham..”

“You got that right,” Lyle said.

“Ha ha. Well, then, without further ado, le..le..le..let’s eat!”

As Lyle and Marina groaned at the Porky Pig imitation, Scott began slicing the ham.


This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “ham”:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Feb. 18/17


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Macarena Of Time – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds

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“Imagine Link doing the Macarena!”

That’s what I said after my mom misspoke the other day while visiting and asking to play a Mario video game for a little bit. She was trying to decide on which Super Mario Brothers game to play and said “Macarena of Time”, somehow getting Mario confused with the Legend of Zelda game “Ocarina of Time” (of which the hero of the game is named Link, for those of you not familiar with the famous Nintendo RPG game series, Legend of Zelda). When I heard what she said, I busted out laughing (I’m a big Legend of Zelda fan, FYI).

(this is Link, from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

(image found on Pinterest)

 

This post is part of One-liner Wednesday:

One-Liner Wednesday – A Momentary Lapse of Reason

 


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Live – Tuesday Use It In A Sentence #tuesdayuseitinasentence

Jared watched the cute girl across the room who had on a t-shirt for his favorite rock band and tried to pluck up the courage to go over and talk to her, doubting he’d have a chance with her. “You only live once,” he told himself, and finally went over and asked her if she wanted to go with him to see the band live in concert when they came to town for the festival the next week.

 

 

This post is part of the Tuesday Use It In A Sentence prompt, “live”:
https://stephaniecolpron.wordpress.com/2017/02/14/tuesdayuseitinasentence-live/


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12 Things You Should Consider Before You Fall In Love With A Writer #MondayBlogs #AmWriting

A little FYI….

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The decision to fall in love with a writer should NOT be taken lightly.Writers are strange and interesting creatures, who need to be handled with extreme care.

If you are on the verge of falling in love with a writer, please consider the following points below.

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50 Things A Writer Notices Whilst Procrastinating #SundayBlogShare #AmWriting

I seem to notice quite a few things when I’m procrastinating, including many of the ones on this list.

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The writer state of procrastinating is an interesting one and worthy of a blog post.

When a writer wants towrite they crawl away into their cave and are not seen for hours, days and sometimes even months. The only things they notice are typos, adverbs and their word count.

When a writer is procrastinating they wander out of their cave and almost immediately become very productive. There are so many things a writer will notice when they are doing their best to avoid writing.

Here is a list of 50 things a writer notices whilst procrastinating:

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Happy Caturday – Valentine’s Edition

With Valentine’s Day approaching, here are some cats – and a couple of dogs – to help you celebrate…or not, as the case may be.

 

(all images found on Pinterest)