Jeanne Owens, author

Blog about author Jeanne Owens and her writing


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Seriously? – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS

stream-of-consciousness-saturday-2018-19

 

 

“Seriously?” Mitch asked Jethro as they sat on the patio, drinking beers.

“Seriously,” Jethro replied.

“You took a photo of Bigfoot while out hunting?”

“Yep.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“Believe it. I got it right here.”

Jethro took a swig of beer then reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a 3×5 photo.

“Let me see that!” Mitch said, snatching the photo out of Jethro’s hand.

Mitch stared at the photo for a couple of moments, occasionally narrowing his eyes to try to get a better look. Then he scoffed and handed the photo back.

“This picture’s too blurry! You can’t make out anything! That could just be some big old bear or just a really hairy person in need of a good shave. You can’t say for sure that that’s Bigfoot!”

“Yeah, well, I know what I saw! And I saw Bigfoot! I swear! It’s not my fault the picture came out blurry!”

Mitch shook his head sadly. “Dude, I think it’s time you cut back on the beers. Seriously.”


 

This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “adverb”:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS May 18/19

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The XP Delima – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS

stream-of-consciousness-saturday-2018-19

 

 

“Lex the Brave spots a path ahead on his left, barely noticeable among all the trees and bushes,” says the DM. “He adjusts the sword strapped to his back and plunges into the foliage to follow the path.

“Lex follows the path for a while, and it eventually ends at a clearing. In the middle of the clearing this a large stone altar. Atop the altar is a big gilt chest.”

“Lex starts towards the altar,” says Lex’s owner, “very eager to see what is in the chest, certain that it must be a great treasure of some sort. But he holds back, wary of any traps or hidden dangers. The path to this place had been suspiciously safe, and Lex would have expected something to block his entry to the treasure.”

“So you want to check for traps?” asks the DM. “Very well.”

Lex’s owner rolls the die and the DM checks his sheet.

“All clear,” says the DM. “There are no hidden traps.”

“Then Lex steps into the clearing to check the chest on the altar,” says Lex’s owner.

“As he does,” the DM narrates, ” a giant troll appears in order to guard the altar.”

“A giant troll? Ugh! How much XP does it have?”

The DM answers and Lex’s owner groans as he looks at his character record sheet. “I don’t think I have enough XP to beat him.”

“Still, you need to make a saving throw. Who knows, you might get lucky.”

Lex’s owner grabs the die and shakes it in his hand. He closes his eyes and whispers a prayer as he rolls the die.

The DM looks at the number on the die, surprised at the result. “Well, well, well,” he says. “It looks like you got lucky after all. The troll starts to charge you but it trips on its feet and falls backwards, hitting its head on the side of the altar and knocking itself out, leaving you free to investigate the chest.”

“Woohoo!” says Lex’s owner. “I open the chest.”

The DM rolls the die. “Oh, too bad. You should have checked it for traps, too. The chest is boobytrapped. You’re pricked by a poison needle hidden on the clasp.”

Lex’s owner looks at his sheet. “Dang it! I don’t have anything to ward off poison or enough XP to heal myself with magic.”

“Do you want to try a saving throw anyway?”

“Sure, why not.”

Lex’s owner rolls the die.

“Oh, too bad. Better luck next time.”


 

This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “xp”:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 27/19

 


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D’oh Boys – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS

stream-of-consciousness-saturday-2018-19

 

 

“Hey, Eddie!” called Mickey as he entered the kitchen. “I’m here!”

“Oh, hey!” Eddie replied from where he stood by the counter, surrounded by bottles of spices, bowls of sauce and toppings, an empty Pillsbury can, and a can of beer.  “Come here! Check this out!”

Eddie stepped away from the counter and looked at Mickey. In his hands was a wad of dough. Mickey watched as Eddie flattened it out in his hands, then started tossing it up in the air like he’d seen pizza chefs do in videos.

“Awesome!” Mickey said as the pizza crust dough got larger and flatter. “Hey! Maybe you could start a pizza restaurant. You’d be rolling in the dough! Ha ha!”

Eddie laughed but lost his concentration and dropped the dough. “D’oh!” he exclaimed as he stared at the mess on the floor.

“No biggie,” said Mickey. “Just grab another one and start again.”

“That was all the dough I had. Guess we’ll just have to eat the doughnuts you brought instead.”

“D’oh!” Mickey exclaimed as he slapped his forehead.

“What?”

“I got so excited at the thought of you making pizza, I forgot to bring the doughnuts.”

Eddie frowned. “Then I guess we know who’s ordering pizza,” he said as he tossed Mickey his cell phone. He then grabbed his can of beer and headed out of the kitchen, saying, “I’ll go put the game on.”

 


This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “dough/d’oh”

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS March 30/19


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Once A Critic… – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS

stream-of-consciousness-saturday-2018-19

 

 

Trish and Eric sat in the theater, sharing a bucket of popcorn while watching a movie. The movie had already been out for a while, so the theater wasn’t very crowded. There were only a handful of people there besides them. They took seats near the front.

The date had been going fairly well so far, and she had been looking forward to seeing this movie.

Trish tried her best to enjoy the movie, but Eric kept muttering comments. He complained about a variety of things, such as acting performance, special effects, plot holes and gaffes in continuity. It quickly started to get on her nerves, and she found herself rolling her eyes a lot and not able to focus her attention on the movie.

Eventually, she said to him, “Can you please stop being so critical of the movie? It’s making it hard for me to enjoy it.”

“Sorry,” he told her. “I guess I just can’t help it. Old habits, and all that. I used to work as a movie critic, you know.”

As she debated whether to stay to finish the movie, Trish promised herself to not go on any more blind dates and to give her friend Kelly an earful later for setting her up on this one.

 


This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “critic(al)”:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Feb. 23/19


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Dreaming of TV – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS #JusJoJan

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When I dream, the dreams are often what I call off-the-wall weird. Sometimes, the dreams involve characters from books I’ve been reading recently or movies I’ve watched recently. I remember having a dream once that was a weird cross between Narnia and Harry Potter. And a funny one that still makes me chuckle when I think about it where I was Loki and I was supposed to start the water filling for a pool or something on the floor above me and I used my staff to reach up to turn it on, but something went wrong and the faucet started spraying out water just as Thor and other Marvel characters came to check on it, and the water hit Thor straight in the face.

I’ve also had dreams about TV shows, too. Sometimes its shows or animes I’ve been watching recently or occasionally one I’ve not seen in a while (and I’ll be in the mood to watch it again, afterward). A week or so ago, I had a dream involving characters from the anime, Fairy Tail. And the night before last I had one where I was part of a team of ghost hunters, and we were investigating the house where an evil spirit was supposed to be, and the spirit apparently knew us and was focused on getting rid of us (and not in a good way). It was like a cross between Ghost Adventures and Supernatural, with even a character named Bobby who was kind of like Bobby Singer (who turned up near the end of the dream). Unfortunately, I woke up before I could see how it ended. I’ve had many dreams that played out like TV shows, and I end up waking up before I can see how they end and wish I could go back to them to see the end. Sometimes, also, I think one of these dreams would make a good story, and that maybe I could remember it and finish it myself later, but that so far hasn’t happened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “television”:

The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 19th


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Such A Sap – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS

stream-of-consciousness-saturday-2018-19

 

Mick was sitting at the bar when his friend Eddie came in, sopping wet from the rain outside. “‘Sup?” Mick asked as Eddie took a seat on the stool next to him.

Eddie didn’t say anything, so thinking it odd, Mick took a closer look at him and noticed a dour expression on his face. “What’s wrong, Eddie?”

“Lisa broke up with me,” Eddie snarled.

“Oh. I’m sorry -”

“That’s it!” Eddie suddenly exclaimed, not letting Mick finish. “I’m done! I’m sick of it all! As of now, I’m through with women! No more dating! No more heartbreak! I’m going to remain a confirmed bachelor for the rest of my life!”

Julie, the pretty new bartender, approached just then. “Hey there, handsome,” she said to Eddie with a smile. “What can I get you?”

Eddie stared at her a moment as if starstruck, then replied,  “A beer and your phone number would be great.”

Mick just shook his head sadly, took a sip of his beer, and muttered, “He is such a sap.”

 

 


 

This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “sap/sep/sip/sop/sup”:

The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 5th


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The Role To Play – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS

stream-of-consciousness-saturday-2018-19

 

 

A great man once said

That all the world

Is a stage

And the men and women

Are merely players.

As I make my way

Through this great play

We call Life

I have yet to find

The role that

I am meant to play.

But I will continue

To roll along

Like a stone

Until I find

My starring role.


This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “roll/role”:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Nov. 17/18