Jeanne Owens, author

Blog about author Jeanne Owens and her writing


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Is Your Cat Plotting To Kill You? – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS

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“How do you tell if your cat is plotting to kill you?” Sherri asked Mitch as she set her cup down on the coffee table.

Mitch gave her a quizzical look from the recliner across the table from her seat on the couch. “What do you mean?” he asked before taking a sip of coffee.

Behind the couch, a black and white cat crouched unseen and listened silently.

“Well, it’s just, you know. Things. Things Tux has been doing lately.”

Mitch set the coffee cup on the table. He thought she was probably overreacting, being a new cat owner and all, but he felt he should humor her, so he asked, “Like what?”

“Well, he always seems to be underfoot. I have to constantly watch where I’m walking for fear of tripping over him. Even on the stairs. I can be walking down the stairs when suddenly, as if from out of nowhere, he’ll be crouched on step, almost like he was trying to trip me.”

Behind the couch, the cat’s ears perked up and he turned his head slightly towards the spot where Sherri’s voice was coming from.

“Cats being underfoot is pretty normal, Sherri. Is that all he’s doing?”

Sherri shook her head. “I’ll wake up at night, suddenly unable to breathe, and find Tux has draped himself over my face.”

Behind the couch, Tux’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t like what he was hearing from Sherri.

“I’ve heard of some cats doing that, Sherri. They’ll lay there or near your head, or even on your chest. They like to feel your pulse. It’s comforting to them. It’s nothing to get too concerned over. Is there anything else?”

“Well, actually, …”

Tux didn’t wait to hear whatever else Sherri related. He padded quietly out of the room and into the spare bedroom. Crawling under the bed, he dragged out a book he had carefully hidden. “How can she be on to me already?” he muttered as he licked a paw and started turning pages. “I can’t believe it! I wonder what the book recommends I should do now…”

(images are from Pinterest)

(And I recommend the How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You book, by The Oatmeal. It’s hilarious :D)


This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “how”:

https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-9-2022/


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Cluttered Desks – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds

Image found on Pinterest

 

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” – unknown

 

 

 

This post is part of One-liner Wednesday:
One-Liner Wednesday – I’m gonna make it!

 

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About The Trees – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds

After I saw this article about US cities losing 36 million trees a year, all I could think about was this meme:

trees wifi meme - Google Search

Found on a Google image search & put on my Pinterest

 

It’s sad but true.

 

 

This post is part of the One-liner Wednesday prompt:

One-Liner Wednesday – Same thing


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Be A Dragon – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds #FantasyMonth

Image from my Pinterest

 

 

 

This post is part of One-liner Wednesday:

One-Liner Wednesday – I need to get out more


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Make Up Your Mind, Mother Nature! – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds

 

Image found on Pinterest

 

 

“Well, it’s official. The weather has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.” – anonymous

 

This post is part of One-liner Wednesday:

One-Liner Wednesday – Share The Road!


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Happy Halloween – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds

Wishing a very happy Halloween to all!

 

Image found on Pinterest

 

“When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween.” – anonymous

 

 

 

 

This post is part of One-liner Wednesday:

One-Liner Wednesday – Murder for Dummies?


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Go for it – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds

 

Image from Pinterest

 

“If you want something you’ve never had, then you gotta do something you’ve never done.” – anonymous

This post is part of One-liner Wednesday:

One-Liner Wednesday – Too Much Computer

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Ain’t It The Truth – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds

After dreaming the other night that I’d come up with a great idea for a blog post, but not being able to remember what it was after I woke up, this meme came to mind:

 

Image from my Pinterest

 

“The biggest lie I tell myself is ‘I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.'”

This post is part of One-liner Wednesday:

One-Liner Wednesday – It’s a Con-undrum

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Good Advice – One-liner Wednesday #1linerWeds

 

Image from my Pinterest

 

 

 

 

This post is part of One-liner Wednesday:

One-Liner Wednesday – Funny or Terrible?