Jeanne Owens, author

Blog about author Jeanne Owens and her writing


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Useful Harry Potter Spells For Writers #SundayBlogShare #Writerslife #writer

I’d love to be able to use some of these! Even Rita Skeeter’s Quick-Quotes Quill would be useful 🙂


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7 Tips to Dating a Fairy

Some useful words of advice in case you ever need them:

Legends of Windemere

Crysta and Zak from FernGully Crysta and Zak from FernGully

To make a Feykin, you need a fairy.  That’s just biology or some type of science that makes people blush during the slideshow.  So, what do you need to know when you start dating a fairy?

  1. Watch where you step and sit.  Also, don’t swat at what you think is a bug unless you’re sure it’s a bug.  Might want to hide all flyswatters and sell your Pikachu-shaped bug zapper.  This only goes for the small fairies, but smashing your date would put a crimp in the relationship.
  2. Never carve your initials into a tree in order to impress a dryad.  She probably knows the tree very well and will become enraged that you mutilated her friend.  The addition of a heart will only make things worse, so best to leave the pocketknife at home.  Either that or ask her if there are any trees she…

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7 Signs You Might Be the Villain of a Story

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Venom: Lethal Protector Venom: Lethal Protector

Everyone believes they’re the heroes of the story.  Well, almost everyone outside of fiction since there are always the exceptions.  So, how can you tell if you’re really the villain?

  1. You have a lot of expendable minions wandering around your home.  I mean, you adopted them and gave them a job, which is very nice of you.  Still, they are very quick to rush to their demise on your orders.  Not to mention they’re all wearing the same uniforms, which gets confusing even with numbers on their backs.  It’s almost like they’ve been robbed of their individuality.  Is that what the Greeting Machine really does?
  2. People keep getting in the way of your plans.  Go out to dinner with your totally willing date?  A guy with a useless cape shows up to fight you before dessert.  Visit the bank to make a withdrawal?  An entire team of…

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7 Signs You’re a Destined Hero

Being a destined hero sure isn’t easy, is it?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The title is pretty self-explanatory.  Still, I should say something . . . Buy Crossing Bedlam for 99 cents because it has NOTHING to do with destiny.

  1. You get the feeling you’re being watched.  Not by anyone around you or anything in the shadows.  The laptop webcam has been covered by duct tape and the shades are drawn too.  Still, you can’t get over the idea that there is a large crowd of people watching your every move.  (If you’re on an HBO show then this includes bathing.)
  2. There is a strange mark on your body that is either easily covered or people ignore it unless it’s the focal point of an event.  You’re not sure where the thing came from or why getting laser surgery always results in the machine exploding.  The mark itches whenever you go near certain areas like libraries, graveyards, warehouses, or…

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7 Ways to Put a Robot in Your Fantasy Story

Hahaha! I love these!

Actually, one of the stories in my fantasy collection, Chronicles of Riss, that has robots in it. And #2 reminds me of it a little 🙂

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Robo from Chrono Trigger Robo from Chrono Trigger

It isn’t easy putting tech into a fantasy setting.  Yet it can be done!  Sometimes even correctly.  Here are 7 methods that might or might not work.  Though looking at the ‘humor’ tag on this post, it’s probably a lot of tongue and cheek.

  1. Time travel!  Nothing goes wrong with having a robot time travel from a non-magical future to the magical past.  Except for changing history and risking a paradox.  The robot could make it that technology never evolves, so it was never created to go back in time to cause the . . . I really hate time travel.
  2. A quirky gnome decides to go as far as possible with golem creation.  This results in him or her realizing that you can’t depend entirely on magic.  So they add some armor and gears and steam and whatever else they can find along with spells…

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23 Struggles Only Book Nerds Will Understand

Ah, the joys struggles of being a bookworm.  I know these all too well, especially #1, #2, #5, #9, & #15.

 

via 23 Struggles Only Book Nerds Will Understand


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What kind of reader are you?

Polygamist (usually have more than one going at a time) monogamist (I reread a lot of my favorites) extrovert with slight introvert leanings (I read a lot of different genres, but have 2 or 3 that I read the most). Slightly altruistic and neurotic (sometimes I have a couple of books that get set aside for a while, but I eventually come back and finish them).

What about you?

I am a polygamist, monogamist, extrovert altruist reader. I burn through series that I like, I remember them. I love re-reading them. I do all this stuff, except the neurotic thing.. I almost always finish a book, unless it’s horrible and I cannot get into it.

That rarely happens. 🙂

~Kaw

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