Jeanne Owens, author

Blog about author Jeanne Owens and her writing


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Preparing a Fantasy Thanksgiving Dinner

Legends of Windemere

Kevin Hart Kevin Hart

Celebrating Thanksgiving in a fantasy world?  Follow these steps for the perfect meal that promises to be delicious, affordable, and minimal on casualties.

  1. Stock up on healing potions.  These can help with the prep work, family fights, bandit raids, food poisoning, and zombie turkeys.
  2. Hunt down your own turkey to save money for the other dishes.  They’re fairly plentiful in certain regions, so some traveling might be needed.  It is not recommended to use magic or anything else that obliterates the animal.
  3. Apologize to the griffin you mistook for a turkey and run.
  4. Find wild yams for mashing.  Earn extra money by doing this in public and claiming to be a stand-up comedian.  Due to copyright issues, always refuse to add a watermelon to your act.
  5. Buy green beans to steam.  What could go wrong?
  6. Finish wrapping scalded hand.
  7. Make bacon and eat most of it.  Give last…

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Early Black Friday Sale – Get My Book, Chronicles of Riss, For Only 99 Cents!

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Join the young mercenary sorceress Marissa “Riss” Cobalt as she recounts some of her early escapades, such as confronting evil sorcerers, searching for treasure, dueling metal golems, finding a stolen show dog, and more.

 

 

 

I’m kicking off the holiday shopping season with my own “Black Friday” sale!

Don’t miss this chance to get my e-book Fantasy short story collection, Chronicles of Riss (the prequel to the novel Kismet and Tell) on Amazon for the low, low price of only 99 cents!! That $2 off the SRP! What a bargain! 😀

Escape the hectic chaos of the Thanksgiving holiday with some fun, fantasy, magic, and mayhem, or get the book as a present for someone you know who’d like it.

Chronicles of Riss will be on sale all week, so you have plenty of time. I will keep it at the $0.99 sale price through Cyber Monday (11/28/2016).

Get Chronicles of Riss on Amazon here.

Get Kismet and Tell on Amazon  here (it’s also available in paperback).


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A Goddess Awakens Ch. 9 Excerpt

I’ve decided to share part of a chapter of my current work in progress, the fantasy novel A Goddess Awakens (working title). [I’ve not had a chance to work on it much lately, with Fiverr orders taking up most of my writing time, but I hope to get back to it soon.]

Chapter 9

In the middle of a wide forest clearing, a large marble building gleamed in the late afternoon light. The single-story structure stood rectangular in shape and had a gold-plated dome in the center of the roof which sunlight glinted brightly off of. Small gold-plated cupolas had been placed atop the four corners of the building, and a silver dragon statue sat atop each, as well as atop the dome. A stone wall a few hundred yards out surrounded the building.

Men of varying ages and wearing robes of varying colors were out in the courtyard. Some sat on benches scattered about, reading books. Others tended to a large vegetable garden off to one side. A few others were practicing swordsmanship with wooden swords. Occasionally, someone inside the building would walk by a window and pause to watch the people outside before continuing on.

This was the temple of the dragon god, Samaryu.

High above the temple, a falcon glided in lazy circles in the cloudless blue sky. Slowly, it made its way down, eventually landing on a branch of a tree on the edge of the clearing. There, it watched the temple and the people outside it with its beady black eyes.

After a while, the sky began to grow darker, and a gong sounded from the temple. The men in the courtyard stopped what they were doing and began returning inside the temple by way of a large set of oaken double doors in the front of the building.

The falcon’s head gave a slight nod as it whispered to itself in the voice of a young woman, “Now.” There was a brief flash of light which went unnoticed by the priests. When the light faded, a small brown bird had replaced the falcon.

The wren took off, flying towards the temple and the open doors. It flew slow enough and high enough not to draw the attention of the priests. It also made itself appear to be heading towards the roof, in case anyone was watching. At the last moment, just as the doors were closing, it slipped inside near the top of the doorway.

None of the priests noticed that the small bird had followed them in and roosted on the bust of a silver dragon over the door frame. As the priests made their way down the hallway, some going left, some right, and a few down the intersecting corridor straight ahead, Wren watched them and thought back to what Tarn had said about where the library was located.

When Raven had contacted her, Wren had been surprised. She had not expected to hear from her teacher for a while yet. She had been even more surprised by what Raven had asked her to do and why she wanted it done. She could understand Raven wanting to help Tarn, given their history together and the fact that Raven’s home was not far from the temple – only a few hours when flying as a bird – but the story about the swordswoman and elf was astonishing, as was High Priest Usiah’s actions. Yet as surprised by everything as she was, Wren was more excited to be part of the adventure her teacher was on – and to finally be using her thieving skills again. She had not used them much since becoming Raven’s student five years earlier and she was eager to make sure they had not become dull.

Once the priests were gone, Wren left her perch on the dragon bust and flew off down the torch-lit hallway to the left. When the hallway stopped going straight and branched to the right, she followed it. After a few hundred feet, she found a set of closed double doors, just as Tarn had said she would. She landed on the floor in front of the doors and looked around, making sure no one was nearby and that all the doors she had passed and all those further down the hallway were closed. Seeing that they were and that there was no one around, Wren changed back into human form. Following a brief flash of light, the small brown bird was gone and in its place stood a young woman of about eighteen years of age. Her shoulder-length mousy brown hair was pulled back into a small tail by a leather thong. She wore a brown cloth tunic over a loose white shirt and brown leggings. Across her waist was a leather belt to which she had attached a sheathed dagger on her left hip and a small leather bag on her right. Completing the ensemble were brown, soft leather boots.

Wren leaned an ear against the crack in the doors but could hear nothing from inside the library. Kneeling down, she peered through the keyhole with a jade-green eye. All she could see was darkness, though. She made a quick check that she was still alone then stood up, grasped one of the brass doorknobs, and turned it, only to find it locked. With a small sigh, she reached into the small bag on her belt and brought out a small purple cloth pouch. She made another check of the hallway then knelt down in front of the keyhole and opened the pouch, revealing an assortment of small metal sticks and hooks of varying shapes and thickness.

Wren studied the keyhole for a moment then selected a stick and hook from her pouch and stuck them in the keyhole. Giving them a few deft lifts and twists, she was rewarded after a few seconds with a slight click from the lock. With a small smile, she removed the lock picks and returned them to the pouch, then placed the pouch back in her bag. Wren then stood back up, checked the hallway once more, grasped the doorknob, and turned it.

The library door swung open with a slight creak that made Wren wince. She hurried inside the library and closed the door behind her.

Wren found herself engulfed in blackness. She reached into the little bag at her waist again and brought out a small glass sphere. She softly spoke a couple of words to the bauble and it started to glow with a soft white light. Wren tossed the sphere up into the air. The globe stopped and hovered just over her head. The light from the floating bauble only lit an area of about ten feet around Wren, but it was enough for the young mage to get her bearings and see what was around her.

Wren stood in the center aisle. On both sides of her were rows and rows of shelves full of books and scrolls. As she slowly made her way down the aisle, the floating globe moving with her, Wren could make out an occasional table and chair between some rows of shelves. She could also barely see, in the distance, unlit oil lamps on sconces hung intermittently on the walls.

When Wren reached the back of the library, she found herself faced with sets of shelves full of books and scrolls covering the back wall, just as Tarn had described. Recalling what the red priest had told her, Wren went over to the next to last set of shelves on her right. “Tarn said Usiah had reached out to this shelf,” she muttered to herself, thinking aloud. “He had to have touched something to get it to open. But what?”

She studied the shelves with a practiced eye. She saw scrolls and books about history and theology, theories on a variety of topics, collections of spells and poetry, and an assortment of other things. But nothing that seemed to stand out to Wren as out of the ordinary. Wren tried pulling on some of the books, thinking one might be a disguised trigger. But nothing happened, so she studied the shelves themselves. She carefully looked over the casing and the shelves the books and scrolls rested on and ran her fingers lightly over the edges, giving an occasional push or tap on the wood when a spot seemed a little suspicious.

About halfway down the set of shelves Wren found a place where a small spot felt slightly raised. A closer look revealed a barely visible small button in the center of a section of tree ring. If she had not been looking for it, she doubted she would have noticed it. Fairly certain this was what she was looking for, she pressed the button. A barely-heard click sounded, then the whole set of shelves quietly swung back into the wall like a door, leaving Wren staring in mild surprise at the black opening. Though she had been expecting it, it was still a little startling to see it.

The light from the globe floating over her head illuminated a little of the opening, showing the young mage that what the shelves hid was not a room but a narrow passageway. Not sure what may lay ahead, Wren placed her hand on the dagger at her hip, ready to draw it at a moment’s notice. Then she stepped into the darkness.

She had barely gone a few feet when she sensed the set of shelves close quietly behind her. As they did, she turned to look at the back of the shelves. She studied the wooden panel by the light of the globe, looking for the trigger to open the doorway when she was ready to leave. It didn’t take her long to find it, since it didn’t have to be hidden on this side of the passageway. The small lever was prominently displayed on the wall to the right of the panel, next to a lantern which Wren passed on using as she did not want to leave any trace of her presence. A simple pull on the lever when it was time to leave would open the door. Wren would just need to remember to step back out of the way after pulling it.

Having found out how to leave, Wren turned from the door and headed down the dark passageway, going slowly so she would not miss anything or run into something, since the globe’s light did not reach very far. But there was nothing to see.

The empty passageway ended after about fifty yards, bringing Wren to a stop at a closed wooden door. She grasped the handle to open the door, but found it locked. “Of course,” she muttered. Wren pulled out her pouch of lock picks from the small bag at her waist, studied the keyhole, and selected two picks. Within seconds, she heard the satisfying sound of the lock clicking. She put the lock picks away and opened the door.


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7 Tips to Dating a Fairy

Some useful words of advice in case you ever need them:

Legends of Windemere

Crysta and Zak from FernGully Crysta and Zak from FernGully

To make a Feykin, you need a fairy.  That’s just biology or some type of science that makes people blush during the slideshow.  So, what do you need to know when you start dating a fairy?

  1. Watch where you step and sit.  Also, don’t swat at what you think is a bug unless you’re sure it’s a bug.  Might want to hide all flyswatters and sell your Pikachu-shaped bug zapper.  This only goes for the small fairies, but smashing your date would put a crimp in the relationship.
  2. Never carve your initials into a tree in order to impress a dryad.  She probably knows the tree very well and will become enraged that you mutilated her friend.  The addition of a heart will only make things worse, so best to leave the pocketknife at home.  Either that or ask her if there are any trees she…

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7 Signs You’re a Destined Hero

Being a destined hero sure isn’t easy, is it?

Legends of Windemere

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The title is pretty self-explanatory.  Still, I should say something . . . Buy Crossing Bedlam for 99 cents because it has NOTHING to do with destiny.

  1. You get the feeling you’re being watched.  Not by anyone around you or anything in the shadows.  The laptop webcam has been covered by duct tape and the shades are drawn too.  Still, you can’t get over the idea that there is a large crowd of people watching your every move.  (If you’re on an HBO show then this includes bathing.)
  2. There is a strange mark on your body that is either easily covered or people ignore it unless it’s the focal point of an event.  You’re not sure where the thing came from or why getting laser surgery always results in the machine exploding.  The mark itches whenever you go near certain areas like libraries, graveyards, warehouses, or…

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Character Art – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS

I’ve always liked art. I love to go to museums and  see all the different paintings. I especially love the old art from the Middle Ages and the Renaissance. Michaelangelo, Raphael, Da Vinci, Monet, Manet, Rembrandt, etc.are some of my favorite artists.  Art History class was one of my favorite college classes. But when it came to actually drawing and painting things myself, I’ve never really been all that great at it. Animals and objects I can do ok, I think,  but drawing people is something I’ve always had a bit of a hard time with.

To give you an idea of what I mean, let me show you a few character sketches I did years ago when I was writing my first Fantasy book, Kismet and Tell. These are sketches of Marissa “Riss” Cobalt, the main character (and also the main character in Chronicles of Riss), and one of the other lead characters, Fiore.

As you can see, they’re not all that great. I wish I could do better, especially with the anime/manga style, but I really believe my artistic talent lies more with writing than it does with drawing.

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This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “art”:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS July 30/16

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Concentration – Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS

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A butterfly fluttered by the window, catching Ellie’s eye. She imagined what it would be like to be a butterfly, to have the freedom to float through the air and all the beautiful flowers she could visit.

A blue jay landed on the window sill, and Ellie pictured herself flying high in the sky and floating on the breeze. She imagined how the world would look in her bird’s eye view, all tiny and wide open.

She sighed. If only she could be a bird or a butterfly and escape her boring life…

Professor Jenkins slammed his hand down on her desk. The loud noise made her jump in her seat. Around her, the other students in the class snickered. “Ellie!” he said. “Pay attention! If you want to pass this class, you need to focus!”

“Y-yes, sir!”

“Now, what did I say was the key to getting a spell to work correctly?”

“Concentration.”

“And have you managed to work a spell correctly yet?”
“No.”

“Then I suggest you concentrate your efforts on correcting that instead of daydreaming.”

“Yes, sir.”

She hung her head in an effort to hide a blush of shame while the students around her continued to snicker. If only she could fly away from it all…

 


This post is part of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt “concentration”:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS July 9/16


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Indie Pride Day 2016 #IndiePrideDay #IndieBooksBeSeen

Today is Indie Pride Day, a day for indie authors to share their pride – and their works – and to support each other. As an indie author myself, I thought I’d share a photo of me with my first book, the fun Fantasy novel Kismet And Tell.

 

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Kismet and Tell and it’s “prequel” short story collection, Chronicles of Riss, are both available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and other fine online book retailers.

Find and follow me on Amazon 

 


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7 Ways to Put a Robot in Your Fantasy Story

Hahaha! I love these!

Actually, one of the stories in my fantasy collection, Chronicles of Riss, that has robots in it. And #2 reminds me of it a little 🙂

Legends of Windemere

Robo from Chrono Trigger Robo from Chrono Trigger

It isn’t easy putting tech into a fantasy setting.  Yet it can be done!  Sometimes even correctly.  Here are 7 methods that might or might not work.  Though looking at the ‘humor’ tag on this post, it’s probably a lot of tongue and cheek.

  1. Time travel!  Nothing goes wrong with having a robot time travel from a non-magical future to the magical past.  Except for changing history and risking a paradox.  The robot could make it that technology never evolves, so it was never created to go back in time to cause the . . . I really hate time travel.
  2. A quirky gnome decides to go as far as possible with golem creation.  This results in him or her realizing that you can’t depend entirely on magic.  So they add some armor and gears and steam and whatever else they can find along with spells…

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7 Signs You Have a Dragon Infestation

Haha! As Bill Engval would say, “Here’s your sign.” Just be sure to stay out of the dragon’s affairs.

Legends of Windemere

Toothless Toothless

We’ve all been there.  Minding our own business when we stumble onto a sign that there are dragons nearby.  If we’re lucky, the beast is already gone or simply passing through the area.  Yet there are times where they stick around.  So here’s what to look for to see if you need an exterminator.

  1. You haven’t seen the cat in days.  Sure, Princess Tangerine wanders off from time to time.  This feels different.  Maybe it’s because she hasn’t reacted to you running the can opener over a loudspeaker.  Could even be the that her food bowl is missing . . . along with the floor it was on.
  2. There’s a lot of smoke in and around the house.  You’ve called the fire department, but that hasn’t stopped the problem.  Then again, the truck has been outside for the last few days, so maybe it’s a really big fight where you…

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